A satyrical look at public prayer:-)
Most agree it was a pretty impressive competition on Friday when hundreds gathered to hear prayers from notorious Lord-sayers in Tallinn, Estonia. The annual championship pits pastors and evangelists from all over the world against each other to see who can use the word “Lord” most often during a single prayer.
This year’s invitational was hosted by the Evangelical Alliance, and despite the interdenominational makeup of the contestants, it was the Pentecostals who dominated the podium. R.J. Corcoran, a newcomer missionary from Ireland, took third with a single prayer containing 103 Lords. Second place was achieved by the Episcopal Bishop from Zambia, Nigel Ammaman with a commanding 126 Lords and 15 Hallelujahs during a near 22 minute prayer. The star of the show however, was Canadian pastor Bob Johnson, who in just seconds shy of the 25 minute limit, said Lord a staggering 167 times, while weaving in a record shattering 49 hallelujahs and 32 oh gods to destroy the old record of 43 hallelujahs set in 1999 by the evangelist Ivan Green from England. One spectator commented, “It was amazing. He never opened his eyes or lowered his hands even once. It was poetic, the presentation alone makes me proud to be Pentecostal.” “His Lord-saying was so remarkable that I totally lost the content of the prayer. I’ve never heard a prayer like that before.” said one judge. The referee commented to Bob after the presentation, “167 Lords! God himself could not ignore that.” But Bob, being ever the humble pastor replied, “It’s not for me, this gold medal is for the streets of heaven. I just want to make my Father proud.”
The sport was waning a few years ago. It wasn’t drawing the crowds of the early 60’s, so the organizers sought ways to increase interest in it. During a regional competition in 2001 the judges and organizers instituted a new rule including several other words that were to count for points. The new “secondary points” could be achieved by complementing the Lords with Hallelujah, Praise Jesus, Oh God, and Boom. This was hoped to draw a greater audience, and a more ecumenical representation.
Over the years, the sport has been dominated by the evangelicals, primarily the Baptists, Pentecostals, Vineyard, and Free-Church representatives. Though the competition is recognized by the Lutherans and Catholics, their experience in free-prayer is not as developed and many of them have resorted to writing their prayers down before hand. “It’s a good strategy, if you can prophesy what everyone else will bring to the table” quipped one Lutheran. Though the Orthodox churches at large still do not recognize the sport, a fringe group of rogue Priests turns out every year to compete. “It’s more difficult for us”, Father Igor Ivanov remarks “because our liturgy is so rigid. We spend weeks searching through liturgical databases looking for prayers containing the most Lords, and then we concentrate on speed reading in our training.” Igor held the only silver medal ever to be won by an Orthodox participant, from the Bogotá open in 1996.
“The common Christian might not even know about the elite event, but in fact, there may be someone training for it in the pews of your local church. It’s becoming quite popular.” One of the organizers said. The organizers are presently in discussion with the God Channel for syndication of next year’s event scheduled to take place in Seoul, Korea.
